2007 Predictions

In spite of not having the slightest clue what will happen as far ahead as tomorrow, I am undaunted in my determination to make a series of startlingly accurate predictions for 2007.

The Cassini probe will be detected returning towards Earth, provoking mass panic amid claims that this proves the universe is doughnut shaped. Only Homer Simpson is unphased by the news.

Population size of several species of animal currently facing extinction will begin to increase. I’m not sure which species, but a lot of hope is being directed towards intelligent single males being part of the group.

Web 3.0 will be heralded, early definitions including an unparelleled degree of interaction with domestic pets.

Microsoft will announce plans to market the Mii (pronounced ‘me’), a revolutionary gaming console with a headstrap device that enables the erstwhile gamer to interact with the game simply by nodding towards the TV. Headstraps are subsequently recalled after a global outbreak of gamers’ whiplash results in thousands of personal injury lawsuits.